Online Dating Isn't Working!
Online Dating Isn't Working - Why?
Online dating is booming, becoming more and more popular as a way to meet a partner, and it's led to plenty of successful relationships. If it's not working for you, here's how you can maximize your chances of becoming one of those happy couples. The claim that "online dating doesn't work" can have several different causes, which this article digs into.Online Dating Isn't Working for the Following Reasons:
Online dating isn't working because the profile just isn't appealing enough. People make snap judgments about whether they like the look of your profile or not, so great photos really matter — they need to be both recent and flattering. Unless you still look exactly like you did in that one great photo from five years ago, using it is a bad idea and will likely lead to disappointment once you actually meet. Remember to fill out your profile completely — leaving gaps can make it look like you're not taking the process seriously. Share things about yourself, but don't overdo it; people don't want to know absolutely everything about you right away. It's good to leave a little mystery so there's something for them to be curious about. Be honest, be yourself — don't claim you jog or hit the gym regularly if you actually do it twice a year. It'll come out once you actually meet someone.... Online dating isn't working if you don't come across positively. One of the most attractive things about someone is their attitude. If you come off as negative — whether in your profile, in early conversations, or when meeting up — interest can quickly fade. One of my clients got plenty of interest on a dating site, but the interest kept dropping off once she actually started chatting with guys. When I looked at her messages, I could see why — some of them came across as fairly negative. She hadn't noticed how she was coming across, and once she changed her tone, men responded to her completely differently. Optimistic language matters a lot — everyone wants to be around happy people.
Online Dating Isn't Working Because People Want to Meet Too Fast Often, the things we cling to hardest have a way of slipping right through our fingers. Detachment means doing the right things — taking the steps you need to take to meet someone — while staying open to whatever happens, and letting go of the outcome. In other words: I'd love to meet someone, I already have a great life, and if I don't meet anyone, I'll still enjoy my life regardless. One of my clients took that approach — she went online, hoped for the best but expected nothing, and on her eighth date she met someone wonderful. A year and a half later, they moved in together and are still genuinely happy.
Why Do So Many People Think Online Dating Doesn't Work? Often, people set their expectations for online dating platforms way too high. If you're not being matched with anyone, widen your search criteria — for instance, consider meeting someone 10 miles away instead of 5, or widen your age range. Stay open — does it really matter if she's an inch shorter than your ideal, or has brown hair instead of blonde? Stay open, explore, go on dates with people who aren't your usual type — maybe the reason you're single is that your "type" was never really right for you in the first place. "Online dating doesn't work" is a very broad claim, and by now we've covered pretty much every possible reason behind it.